A Guide to the Parents of College-Bound Children
When your children head off to college for the first time it’s a big day in all your lives. There are nerves, excitement in the air, and a lot of emotions floating around. It’s also natural to feel sad your children are flying the nest; the child is probably feeling a bit unsure too.
With all your preparations, it’s easier to feel reassured during the transition phase. Of course, you can still have reservations about the child leaving. So, what do you need to know when you’re a parent to a college-bound child?
Talk to the Child Before They Leave
It’s natural to be anxious for your child. It’s a big moment in their lives and you are worried they won’t make friends at college. You are a parent and you’re always going to worry about your children. So, take a moment to talk with the child; share your wisdom, and reflect positively on the past and future. It sets the right tone and might inspire the children to call home more often too.
Write a Letter
As silly as it sounds, it could be smart to write a letter to your child. While most people communicate through email, text message, or video calls, a letter is more personal. Your child can read the letter a hundred times over and feel reassured about their decision to go to college. The letter can be something just between you and the child. Most will treasure the letter and keep it safe for the rest of their lives.
Be a Parent but Let Them Take Charge
You’ll begin a metamorphosis when your child flies the nest. You go from being the person the child relies on to the person they call when they’re in trouble. It’s a big moment in a child’s life – and yours – but you can’t be with them 24/7. You must take a step back and let the child solve their problems in life. You can still be there to give them guidance and support, but just let them work things out for themselves.
Parents transition to a coaching role when their children are college-bound. That’s just as important as being a parent, however. You’re giving them your life experience to help them overcome obstacles and study hard.
Let the Child Know When Changes Happen in the Home
It’s crucial to maintain trust in your relationship and that means letting them know when there are changes at home. For instance, you have a 5-bed home. You think it’s time to downsize to a 3-bed home, so you put the house on the market but don’t tell the child. That breaks their trust because it feels like you’ve lied to them.
It’s important to keep the child informed of the major changes back home. It’s a good way to maintain their trust and a positive parent-child relationship.
Let the Children Have their Independence
Parents have difficulty letting go of being full-time parents; but that’s not ideal, to say the least. Your children are young adults, and you can’t hold their hand 24/7. That doesn’t mean you can’t worry about them; it just means giving them space to explore the world.
Children must manage their workload, you’re not their manager. It’s important to let them cope with life away from home so that they’re ready for college life.
Let your Children Enjoy College Life
Children are more resilient than parents give them credit for. While you never want to stop being a parent, there comes a point in your life when the child is ready to spread their wings and fly. Your college-bound son or daughter doesn’t stop being your child; however, they’ve reached a new stage in life. It’s a journey most need to take on their own to be able to live independently for the rest of their lives.